Cast Out - The Diary of Valuss

[Katastrophe]

Like many before me, both on this site and elsewhere, I've decided to try my hand at writing one of these roleplay journals to catalog my character's adventure in Skyrim. I'm also doing this for a few other reasons: first, hopefully the extra eyes on me will keep me playing the same character and making him one I can truly enjoy. Second, I've had serious writer's block for over a year now and hopefully this will be just what I need to exercise my literary muscles. Rather than bog down the first post with long lists and extra information, I've neatly organized a few Google docs for you to read (or not read) depending on how much backstory you want. Warning: There's a lot. I get carried away.

Warning: This journal may contain spoilers for some quests, so read at your own risk.

[About Valuss' Past] - [About The Order] - [Gameplay Rules]​

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Table of Contents​

Entry #1 - Arrival​

Entry #2 - Journey to Windhelm​

Entry #3 - Hard Day's Night​

Entry #4 - Shrine of Azura / Kat's Notes I​

Entry #5 - In Cold Blood​

Entry #6 - New Beginnings​

Entry #7 - Dovahkiin​

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As of August 14th, I will no longer be updating this journal. The save file got overwritten on accident, but I'm not all that torn up about it as I learned a lot. One, journals are fun and keep me invested. Two, I totally got sidetracked with this guy... I wouldn't say I just got really in character as much as my character shifted half way through based on my desire to weave a plot - not my desire to stay true to my character.

I will be creating a new journal on the 15th that uses the same lore of The Order with the Argonian, Izo.

 

[TamrielsSavior]

Can't wait to see how this plays out. I, too, am using this journal tool as a way to enhance and inspire my own writing. I'll definitely will be watching.

 

[Katastrophe]

- 18th of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

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I'm not entirely sure where to begin - my head is still spinning and throbbing. I was awoken late last night and told that we had arrived, but where exactly I had arrived was a mystery. When I came onto the deck of the ship, I was greeted with darkness and snow. As I dismounted, it was a guard that welcomed me to my new location - Dawnstar. For the life of me, I cannot remember how I came to be on that boat... in fact, one of the last things I remember was doing a contract in Anvil and then... just black. Bits and pieces of the past few years. I have only a dagger and a few other measly belongings to my name now, and I'm alone in Skyrim. I recall their being a sanctuary here in Dawnstar but I'll have no chance of getting in - best not to go snooping for it and raise suspicion.​

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I spent the night in the local inn, her inhabits talking on about their nightmares. Dawnstar seems to be under some sort of cloak of evil, but it's best to keep my nose clean of such things for now. In the morning, I spent nearly all of my remaining gold on breakfast and immediately ventured out into town to find work. Although I have no intention of staying here, I'll need to some equipment and supplies before I can leave. I happen upon a mine, Iron Breaker or something of the sort, and the owner promises payment for anything I dig up. The rest of my day was spent in that mine, digging away at small veins of iron. I didn't make much, barely 100 gold pieces, but it'll last. I treated myself to a large lunch before looking around town some more. There's really only just an alchemy shop and smithy. When I asked the smithy about his wares, I found his prices to be astonishingly high. I guess I'll be here longer than I had hoped...​

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When I returned to the inn that night for dinner, I asked the man if he had heard of anything, possibly work. He told me there's a boy by the name of Aretino in Windhelm who's supposedly trying to contact the Dark Brotherhood. If there is still a presence in Skyrim, surely this boy can lead me to them! If word has reached Dawnstar, it's only a matter of time before a member hears of it and comes to acquire the contract. I try to pace myself through dinner as to not raise suspicion before dismissing myself to my room early. I spread my map across the table and examined it careful and behold! A road leading from Dawnstar to Windhelm that skirts the mountain range that borders Winterhold from The Pale! Now, it's only a matter of time... and there's a smithy standing in my way. I'm going to head to sleep early tonight... perhaps I can find where this smith stores his goods...​

 

[DarkEastwood]

Interesting so far. So who was your influence? BIGwooly I'm guessing?

 

[Katastrophe]

Actually, my favorite was "Livin' in Oblivion" and "The Elder Strolls", both done by the same guy. It's about how he just plays strictly as an NPC - no adventuring. I haven't finished 'Livin' in Oblivion' (I don't he ever finished it, actually) though, but thank you. There a lot of journals like this, though. I have a capture card so I could technically do a "Let's Play" video series but... I dunno. I feel like that'd be too long/boring, even if I did edit it heavily to only show the important parts. I mean, what would I show in that part? Me mining? The conversation at the inn? Snoozeville.

 

[Nocte Aeterna]

Excellent entry. I'm thinking of doing a series myself, one for each of my characters.

 

[Mr1cammando]

Nice, the first post is always the hardest, amiright?

 

[Katastrophe]

Excellent entry. I'm thinking of doing a series myself, one for each of my characters.

Thanks.
And I encourage you to do it. I notice that I'm sort of doing a mental narration while I play rather than a commentary. It helps my actions true to my character rather than just gameplay.

Nice, the first post is always the hardest, amiright?

It is. I haven't done something like this so I wasn't sure how to start. I didn't want to outline every little thing that I did, but not just cut it down to eating, working, sleeping. Also mixing in some of my own actions (like spreading out the map and examining the route).

 

[Nocte Aeterna]

Actually, I just got around to posting my first entry. It's a bit deceptive in that it doesn't showcase my true writing abilities, because it's meant to make it seem like my character wrote it.

 

[Katastrophe]

- 19th of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

It seems like I've been traveling for far more than a day but thankfully, I'm making this entry from Windhelm's inn. I have quite a bit to tell, tonight!

First, might I say that I impress even my own self. I was able to not only rob that overpriced smithy of everything his home was worth, but the Jarl as well! Last night, before I went to bed, I decided to talk to the Jarl about work, in the off chance that assisting him would net me a lovely fee, but the old Nord wouldn't even speak to me except about the current rebellion. While poking around, however, I noticed a rack full of weapons. In the smith's house, I found very little - but in the White Hall, I found fortune. I was able to leave well before sunrise and stopped at a Khajiit camp and spent most of the gold I had stolen on various hides to keep myself warm on the trip.

The trip itself was both dull as well as adventurous. Outside Dawnstar, there was a giant camp which, as I came upon it, was under attack by three (very foolish) bandits. Now, I have heard stories about these giants... for the most part, they leave you be so long as you do the same. I thought he might permit me to come and loot the corpses of those he killed, but as I approached, he showed obvious signs of hostility. Still, I took it as merely a warning to keep my hands off his stuff, but I soon realize that that included the corpses as well. I spent the better part of an hour fleeing the giant, dodging through trees and scrambling over rocks but eventually he lost interest.

Shortly there after, I stumbled upon an old fort now occupied by bandits and thankfully was able to leave before they noticed me, only to run headlong into another occupied fort. I dodged a few arrows but thankfully they were unwilling to chase. It wasn't long before I came across the Nightgate Inn, or something along those lines. The innkeeper told me about an orc lodging there who had paid for quite a few months in advance. When I went to talk to him, he asked me simply to leave. I've never seen such a proper and well-mannered orc before... the innkeeper also mentioned that some fellow Dunmer had established a shrine to Azura not far off. Perhaps I'll look into it after I confront this Aretino boy? As much as I would have loved to investigate the strange orc, I was committed to reaching Windhelm before nightfall.

I came across a group of Khajiit not long after that and spent the last of my gold on more hides. Within the hour, I came to a mill where I was offered work cutting wood. I spent a few hours earning back what I had spent with the Khajiit before I finally continued on. I had not been on the road for more than a few minutes before I was talked by two wolves. I had encountered wolves before and slain them earlier on this trip, but these two had caught me by surprise and one even flanked me. I do not lie when I say that I fought for my life. In fact, I was sure that after felling the first wolf, the second would do me in. As it lunged for me and I feebly raised my sword in defense, I watched as an arrow struck the wolf, it's dead body collapsing at my feet. When I turned to see who had saved my life, I saw only a statue of Talos above on the cliff. I'm not a spiritual elf, by any means... but someone was watching out for me.

When I finally arrived in Windhelm, I began looking for Aretino's home and stumbled upon a Dunmer and a boy talking outside a home. Eavesdropping, I learned that the boy was indeed performing the Black Sacrament, that this was his home! At last, I had found him! When the coast was clear, I let myself in and found the boy upstairs, performing the ritual. When I approached, he believed me to be the Brotherhood member sent to retrieve his contract. Although, as far as I can recall, I am a member... I no longer have the uniform or any knowledge of the Brotherhood in Skyrim. But all accounts, I should have been assumed dead considering how long it has been since my last memory of a contract. Regardless, I listened. He told me he wanted the woman in charge of an orphanage in Riften, Grelod, dead. While I have no plans to do this immediately, I'll be sure to investigate in the hopes that this will lead me to the Brotherhood and I can find some answers.

My candle has burnt down far too low. It's time I get some sleep. I have preparations to make for the journey ahead.

 

[Katastrophe]

- 21st of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

The past few days have been nearly insufferable, but well worth it. I've been working my fingers to the bone trying to scrap together enough coin to make my preparations. I took the furs I purchased on my way to Windhelm and scrapped together a nice collection of leather armor, selling my excess to the smith. I ran an errand for a herbalist (which netted me a fine sum of gold!) and attempted to return a stolen ring for a fellow Dunmer but wasn't able to get into the owner's home. I suppose I'll just hold onto the ring for now and try again when I have more lockpicks. But speaking of Dunmer, Windhelm is a miserably place to be one. The innkeeper has given me nothing but grief since I set foot into her door and there's some miserable Nord that wanders the streets hurling insults, but I taught him a lesson or two (also for a nice sum of gold).

I spent my first morning, oddly enough, at the shrine of Talos. I'm not sure whether the Gods are watching out for me or there's some one else involved, but the symbol of Talos was there when I was saved. To me, Talos symbolizes my savior, whomever or whatever they may be. So that morning, I did not offer praise to Talos specifically, but rather to my savior.

I'm afraid I'm going to keep this entry sort. I've bought some provisions for my travels and finally purchased a bow. I've decided, after seeing how my people are being treated, to seek out this Shrine of Azura before heading to Riften for that Aretino boy. From what I've gathered, it's somewhere between Winterhold and Windhelm, up in the mountains. I think I found a path that leads that way earlier when heading to Windhelm, so I plan to start my journey there. I do know when my next entry will be, but hopefully it will be made among my people.

 

[Katastrophe]

- 22nd of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

I'm writing this entry from Winterhold, oddly enough. Almost immediately after leaving Windhelm, I happened across a fellow Dunmer who told me he was on a pilgrimage to the Shrine as well. After telling him that I was headed there as well, we traveled together. I took point, offering to scout the road ahead for danger. Aside from a stray skooma dealer, we didn't encounter any trouble until we went off the main road. In the distance, I could spot a fortress of some kind. I also spotted a small group of Imperials on a hill not far from the main gate. I informed my companion of the possible danger ahead, but he insisted we carry on our route. I took up a position opposite the Imperials and waited as my fellow Dunmer proceeded. That's when everything went down hill.

Out of nowhere, a goat of all things came bursting out from the fort's gate, followed by a stream of ice magic. Two mages, necromancers it turned out to be, came charging out after the goat followed by two skeletons. I watched horrified as the goat ran past my companion who drew his dagger as he suddenly became the victim of these necromancers. I can only take solace in the fact that his death was quick. Only after he died did the Imperials descend upon my friend's murderers. I did not stay to see the conclusion - I took the opportunity and ran past, skirting along the mountainside.

When I finally reached the Shrine, I was surprised to hear that the only priestess there said she had been expecting me - that she foresaw my coming before my birth. Intrigued, I played along with this idea that coming there was part of my fate. She told me to travel to Winterhold and seek out an elven mage who has something to do with stars. I decided that with really nothing else to do accept travel to Riften, Winterhold could prove an interesting stop. So onward I traveled across the frozen land of Winterhold until I finally reached the town.

It was getting late, so there wasn't much to do. I ate dinner and rented my room and asked a former member of the College, Nelacar, about this 'star mage', but he refuses to answer. Perhaps the right amount of coin will loosen his lips...? But that requires some... acquiring. Tomorrow could again prove to be a busy day.

Kat's Notes - Part I​

I just though I'd also include some OOC (Out Of Character) notes to go along. I'd like to mention that first off, if I was playing "Dead is Dead", this would've been game over when I did the "loot-by" on the giant camp. He swatted me like a fly, the first time. Totally did not know that they get aggressive if you approach their game, considering I've high-fived them on the open roads before... also to note, that mysterious arrow from nowhere actually happened. I am just as baffled as Valuss about that... I think it might have come from a group of Stormcloaks that were out of my render distance when I was initially looking but I dunno... Also, a part of Part 4 that I captured but did not mention because it made no sense: Help! I'm trapped!

The reason it's hoof is blurry is because it was flailing around like crazy...

 

[Katastrophe]

- 23rd of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

Another horrifically eventful day, and I make this entry from Windhelm. I woke up early and proceeded to rob Winterhold's inhabitants blind. I must admit that I'm getting quite good at this whole thievery thing. The Dark Brotherhood was never one for stealing - that was left to the Thieves Guild, but it's really quite the way to make money. I also spoke to a fellow Dunmer in the Jarl's Longhouse... apparently he's being kept around because he's got the Jarl believing he has ties to the College. He asked me to bring him a staff that belongs to that insufferable Nelacar, a task I only too willingly completed. I also spoke to the woman that runs the shop; she mentioned buying some sort of claw that will give whoever returns it a particular ruin unbelievably wealth. She offered to sell it to me for 50 gold but I cannot spend that kind of money on such fantasies.

I was able to bribe Nelacar into telling me what he knows. Apparently, he used to work with a necromancer named Malyn who attempted to use Azura's Star to trap his own soul to become immortal. He told me that Malyn was last seen fleeing to Ilinalta's Deep. Just the mere mention of daedra and their ilk makes me want to avoid that place like a disease. This nonsense with Azura is above my pay grade, to be perfectly honest. Unsure of what to do at this time, I spoke with the innkeeper who mentioned a rumor that there's a man in Riften who can change your face. Riften gets stranger and stranger all the time. He also gave me a bounty posting from the Jarl, but I'm not really in the business of hunting bandits. However, I did recall a Windhelm guard mentioning a shipwreck not far from Winterhold, so I decided to check that out.

The journey to the ship wreck was fairly uneventful but as I neared, I noticed two bandits camped outside. I tried to size them up... it had been ages since I fought with an actual person to the death. I wasn't sure if I was up to the challenge. However, with my advantage of surprise, I let my arrows fly. One bandit dawned her own bow and stayed back while the other charged me. He and I dueled back and force, the shield I had stolen back in Dawnstar proving to be quite useful at deflecting his mace's blows. Although a difficult fight, I came out on top. I threw my sword to the side and grabbed the bandit's mace before vaulting over the rock that female bandit was taking cover behind, crushing her skull in with a single blow. As I ventured onto the deck of the shipwreck, it became obvious I had missed one - the leader. It was all I could do to avoid his accursed axe. For what seemed like hours we danced across the ship, down the ship, all around the damned ship. Finally, however, I managed to take him down.

There wasn't much of interest in the ship, aside from a journal describing the end of House Telvanni from Morrowind. This struck a personal chord with me, so I've decided to hold on to it. Something to remind me, however bitterly, of the land from whence my great grandparents hailed from. With the journal in hand, I decided to follow the coast back to Windhelm. After an hour or two, I came across what appeared to be some sort of Horker hunting camp. There was a horse there so I took it and rode it back to Windhelm before letting it free. It was late so before I headed back into the inn, I wanted to try another hand at breaking into that house to return the stolen ring. In the cemetary, however, was a grizzly site.

Susanna, the lovely girl from the inn, had been murdered. Furious doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I remember she had once told me how she felt the innkeeper's hatred of my kind was ill-founded; that once you got to know us, as Susanna had, we were good people. And now here she was, murdered. I offered my assistance and ultimately followed a blood trial to an abandoned house further in town. Hilgred also noted that the cuts on the body were from an old Nord embalming tool, but she was unaware of anyone in town who had one. I was told that Tova Shatter-Shield would have the key to the abandoned house.

It's late however, and morning will come soon. And with it, justice for Susanna.

 

[Katastrophe]

- 27th of Last Seed, 4E 201 -​

It's been days since my last entry... I suppose I'm finally ready to put it all down on paper...

I investigated Susanna's murder further. I'll spare the details, but she was killed for some... necromancy ritual. It was some man I had never met before, ran some sort of half-assed museum in town. Bunch of junk. When I realize it was about necromancy, I asked the court wizard. He told me the next murder would happen that night - some sort of pattern. I assumed it was him, luring me into a trap, but I watched and sure enough I could the bastard. Killed him, too. Bashed his head in the mace until his skull turned to mush, and then I bashed him some more. The town thinks me some sort of hero... like I did it for them. I did it for Susanna. The innkeeper gave me some book, Gentlemen's Guide to Whiterun... she must have mistook how I looked at Susanna... I went and returned the ring for the Dunmer and told him so, selling off some things. With gold to spend and a lot on my mind, I browsed his inventory... and I found a book. A spell tome, to be exact. A spell tome for necromancy. That night, I sat in my room in the inn and I studied it. And then, I made the greatest mistake of my life.

I left the inn shortly after midnight and snuck through town to the Hall of Dead and I went to see Susanna's body... and I cast that spell. As expected, her body twitched and rose and gasped for air as if she had been drowning. When I went to speak to her, all she did was groan. Her eyes had no glow, her body no warmth... she was a breathing mannequin, and I hated her. More importantly, I hated myself. What I had done. So I killed Susanna... I killed her a second time and her body fell into a pile of ashes, gone for good this time. I was mortified... horrified.. so I ran. I ran until acid flowed through my veins, and then I ran some more. I ran until I encountered some Redguard bandit... called me a milk drinker, and I killed him. Not because I felt threatened, but because I wanted to. It felt good yet, at the same time, strangely wrong... so I kept running. I scavenged watchtower with slaughtered guards from an Imperial attack and left countless animals dead in my wake. Then I arrived in Riften.

Since I got here, I've been working for the Thieves Guild. I just don't care any more... Brynjolf told me when we first met that none of my gold had been earned honestly, and he was right. I've done nothing but steal and kill my way from Dawnstar. The days of mining and chopping wood are but distant memories. Who I was on that ship died somewhere back on the road from Windhelm. I'm nothing but a thief and a murderer.

I am alone.

 

[TamrielsSavior]

Very creative if not a little disturbing... Can't wait to read more!

 

[Flapjoe]

Firstly, thanks for the comments on my journal. Secondly, your journal is going to be one of my favorites because of the awesome writing, superb!
p.s. I also started my journal as a way to practice my writing more frequently.

 

[Katastrophe]

Hnggg....

At level 13 and made it into Whiterun... actually starting the main quest...
Already feel myself hitting that "I want to re-roll" wall. And it's possibly for some of the stupidest reasons I've ever thought... I'm going to just try and suck it up and play through it but god is it hard...



But thank you for the compliments, everyone!

 

[Nocte Aeterna]

That reminds me. I should probably play some Skyrim in a bit. Good posts as always, though.

 

[Mr1cammando]

Hnggg....

At level 13 and made it into Whiterun... actually starting the main quest...
Already feel myself hitting that "I want to re-roll" wall. And it's possibly for some of the stupidest reasons I've ever thought... I'm going to just try and suck it up and play through it but god is it hard...



But thank you for the compliments, everyone!

Suck it up. Just start thinking like your character, not as a narator.

 

[Katastrophe]

Suck it up. Just start thinking like your character, not as a narator.

Well the thing is that this character isn't really turning out like I had planned.
On one hand, that's reason enough for me to keep playing him... to see how it turns out.

But still... I dunno. Blah.