You need to do all the Temple of Mara related quests, then get the amulet and wear it, then go talk to her. You may need to have completed at least some of the Companion quests, to the point that she can be your follower, I think.
It would have been more realistic if they made a married follower loot gold while questing with you, both to relieve you of having to search every urn and piece of furniture, and to avoid the hollow plot of a shop that is not even there to see. Aela is a hunterss , she wouldn’t become a shopkeeper.