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CephalicMiasma

New Member
The following post was found on landoverbaptist.net. Whoever posted this clearly never played skyrim and is trying to defame it. Its good for a laugh though, as many of the claims made are so unbelievably outlandish and ridiculous.

If you want to see the videos hes refering to, as I cant seem to get them to post here, just try to find the post on the original website.


First: let me apologize to Pastor Zeke for not showing up to work these last three days but this Skyrim think is top priority.

Previously, posters have asked if Skyrim is Christian or not. After doing an exhaustive, 64 hour study of the computer game of Skyrim I posting my findings

Example of game play



So what do we see there. Skyrim is a game were you stalk children threw a fantasy world and MURDER them in their sleep and abuse the bodies. I assume the parents and pet chicken were killed for pleasure too.

Apparently the player can also indulge in drug abuse. Because that is the only sane explanation of the next video.



Frankly disturbing.

Game play features

Anti-Christian elements of Skyrim
  • Paganism: players can worship from a list of nine pagan deities. Jesus is not one of them. Most of these gods seems to have been themed after a sex act.
  • Sorcery: magic use abounds in this game, against gods commandments.
  • Murder: most of the game is about finding strangers to murder to power up. Player is also encouraged to join an murder for hire group and kill people for some of the most pathetic reasons I have ever seen .
  • Theft: The character can break into houses, steal their goods or pick people's pockets.
  • Homosexuality: player can marry same sex partners. Worse the player is not required to play their real genders. The anti-family message is blatant in this game. For example in the one of the towns there is an old woman who goes around demanding other females do "their good deed for the day" with here.
  • Communism: players are encouraged to murder job producers like slave mine owners while rewarding moochers by giving them money to enable their life style choices.
  • Misandry: women are depicted in traditional male roles. Women are shown abusing men. One women encourages the player to murder a man for refusing to let her mount him while they were fornicating.
  • Drug abuse: players are encouraged to take "skooma" during the game. This apparently a form of crack cocain and is used to enslave worshipers to the various pagan cults in the game.
  • Lawlessness: player can join a prison gang, lead a jail break and then join a revolution against the lawful authority. Lucifer tried to lead a rebellion.
  • Superstition; players are encouraged to read magical books that are written in an archaic form of English for good luck.

With traditional mods the player can enslave other characters in the game, sexually assault them and fornicate with animals. Even worse there is a disgusting game mod that turns all female characters into fashion models with enormous tallywackers, presumably for the in game rapes.

So far I have reviewed Skyrim for 64 hours since last Friday. I will update this thread next week.
 
I feel like this guy may be biased against the game. or have some quarrel with it. in closing, i simply offer this: w.t.f.
 

Janus3003

Skyrim Marriage Counselor
Thankfully, it appears to be a troll site- Landover Baptist Church - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Its articles on the main page were just a bit too outrageous, especially when it had a picture of a "pastor searching the web server for demons."
Not to say there aren't people who believe this kind of stuff, though.
 

Haru

Member
*headdesk* Honestly. I'll never figure out if people like this are just intentionally making up crap or are truly delusional. Or both. I'm thinking both.

(On a side note, as a born-again Christian, I would like to speak up on behalf of all the non-crazy Christians out there and make it clear that we want to slap these insane people upside the head just as much as everyone else does!)
 

Lady Imp

Rabid Wolverine
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry I'm LMAO right now this is worth its weight in amusement value. Yay for making an opinion based entirely NOT on fact!!! I'm seriously wondering what version of Skyrim he's talking about because I'd kinda like to play his TBH...I'm game with homosexuality and fornication. :D
 

Ragnvaldr

That Canadian guy.
The article that got me was, "Autism..the new gay?"
 

Docta Corvina

Well-Known Member
This totally reminds me of the Christwire reviews of Skyrim.

It's more of the same type of satirical stuff, which I find hilarious - but then, that's just my twisted sense of humor. :p

Skyrim’s Severe Affronts to your Christian child:

Man on man homogay marrying
Drug toking Skooma
Women in politics (jarls)
Worshipping false God’s
Bestiality relationships between Imperials and Argonian lusty lizard women
“Leveling up” satan’s magic. Worse than in Harry Potter.

They hit the nail on the head, no? :D

This cracked me up pretty hard too:

I would advise not playing the yellow-skin High Elfs because they are effeminate and are in the faction the Thalmors who support the dragon take over of the Skyrim way of life and have homosexual relations with the Dragons. I can tell you there is no feeling like playing a proper Imperial and SLAYING a sniveling yellow effeminate man!
 

Lady Imp

Rabid Wolverine
This totally reminds me of the Christwire reviews of Skyrim.

It's more of the same type of satirical stuff, which I find hilarious - but then, that's just my twisted sense of humor. :p



They hit the nail on the head, no? :D

BWAHAHAHA "WARNING: This video game review contains words and pictures that are not suitable for women and children. Please escort them to their place in the home away from the computer room before continuing with this review." Not suitable for women or children??? Oh gosh that's right, I forgot, women are supposed to live under rocks....

Imma go make an apple pie now...:rolleyes:
 

Soloquendi

Pastor of Muppets
It's a spoof site, like the Onion. They've been around for years.

Only place online where you can get a "What Would Jesus Do?" G-string. ;)
 

CephalicMiasma

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