OOC Conquer With Fire II

[MehrunesDagon]

"Jaen? Were you even listening" Asked a light voice. It snapped me out of my daze. Looking over at Lynx, I remember where i am. "Crap!" I yelp, Standing up as my stool stumbles to the floor. "WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING." says the bar keeper. "Sorry! Lynx come on, We need to get back to Riften before Maven has a fit!" I tell her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to her feet. "But my Mead!" She exclaims with a longing look in her eyes. I grab a Black-Briar Mead out of my rucksack and toss it to her. "here, Now lets go."

"you are late." I try to act cool as i swagger over to the table we decided to meet at. I sit down and take a swig of the tankard that the patrient had set down for me. "Sorry, Maven" I sit the mug of Ale down. "We had a run-in with some bandits and got stalled. When we made it to Windhelm, The carriage had already been taken so we took horses instead. I promise it wont happen again." I bow my head, And when i lift it back up again she is frowning. "it better not, Jaen. I am counting on you to get this job done. Do not disappoint me." She glares at me. She gets up and stalks off, Out the door of The Bee and Barb, And down the road, Out of my sight.

Would you like a little more or is this good enough? [emoji4]


-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

 

[Specter of Death]

I'm going to apply with Hlif and My Duo. However, if you don't like the idea of a unique duo, just say so.

Sent from my GT-N8013 using Tapatalk

 

[Blackdoom59]

I actually encourage you to bring back the duo, Specter.

Mehrunes, you have some grammar mistakes and you should use a word-corrector and double check everything you've wrote before you post it. Your character seems to revolve around her brother, and some of her traits go against each other (You're saying she's bubbly than you're saying she loves the smell of death). She joins in order to keep her brother safe? That seems like an unnecessary thing to do if she's joining only for that reason. She could just get her brother and move away or something.

As a conclusion, your writing is fine and only has small errors, but your character is very one-dimensional, which initially doesn't have to be a problem as characters will be forced to reflect on things a lot through this roleplay and they will end up changed.

This is an advanced roleplay, which means it's mostly for players with experience. There will be scenarios where you will have to get creative and create your own short stories.

Despite all that, I'm not an asshole, so I'l give you a shot and see how your character developes in the IC. If you get creative with your posts you will win my support. Accepted, welcome to the roleplay!

 

[Specter of Death]

Its not the same duo as the one I wrote with in the first RP. Its 2 characters that are going to be played by myself and Hlif. They are 2 mercs who are as ferocious in battle as they are vulgar while drinking. They are known as the Little Bird and the Bear. Hlif and I will have them up tonight sometime.

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[shadowkitty]

She has long, straight, black hair and bright red eyes. Only ever wearing black armor with a hint of red. She has a deadly sword and a deadly appearance.

Why does she have red eyes? What sort of armour and sword? Are you keeping within Skyrim Lore?

 

[MehrunesDagon]

Why does she have red eyes? What sort of armour and sword? Are you keeping within Skyrim Lore?

her eyes are actually not red, which if you look closely is an almond, but only simply looking and not paying your full attention, they give off a red aura. so yes I am lore friendly. Her armour is not named neither her sword (in the picture is not her armour, just her physical appearance) but she uses the West Ninja armour passed down in the family by her mother. Her sword is also her mother's. It's name is Evergleam. It has a 85% chance to kill your target and/or enemy in one hit.

 

[MehrunesDagon]

I actually encourage you to bring back the duo, Specter.

Mehrunes, you have some grammar mistakes and you should use a word-corrector and double check everything you've wrote before you post it. Your character seems to revolve around her brother, and some of her traits go against each other (You're saying she's bubbly than you're saying she loves the smell of death). She joins in order to keep her brother safe? That seems like an unnecessary thing to do if she's joining only for that reason. She could just get her brother and move away or something.

As a conclusion, your writing is fine and only has small errors, but your character is very one-dimensional, which initially doesn't have to be a problem as characters will be forced to reflect on things a lot through this roleplay and they will end up changed.

This is an advanced roleplay, which means it's mostly for players with experience. There will be scenarios where you will have to get creative and create your own short stories.

Despite all that, I'm not an asshole, so I'l give you a shot and see how your character developes in the IC. If you get creative with your posts you will win my support. Accepted, welcome to the roleplay!

Thanks and sorry about the mistakes I hate typing on my phone because my thumbs are really bad at clicking the right keys and my auto correct is a pain but ill have to deal with it then xD and if you didn't realize my character has more depth and thought put into her then meets the eye

Mairynn, You see, is not solely based on her brother. She is protecting her brother from Alduin, THE ALDUIN. They cannot simply move away! I feel as if you didn't think into the details, but then again I tend to say more in my mind then what I write down xD And if you think about what you said before, (You're saying she is bubbly than you're saying she loves the smell of death?) this character is two sides. Mairynn has two personalities. when she is spending her day normally, as long is she isn't in the heat of battle, she is bubbly, happy and cheerful. However, when she is fighting or is in danger, her expression changes to a seriousness, a cold stare that can pierce flesh. and lastly thank you for letting me join! I am looking forward to writing with you [emoji4]


-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

 

[Specter of Death]

I actually encourage you to bring back the duo, Specter.

Mehrunes, you have some grammar mistakes and you should use a word-corrector and double check everything you've wrote before you post it. Your character seems to revolve around her brother, and some of her traits go against each other (You're saying she's bubbly than you're saying she loves the smell of death). She joins in order to keep her brother safe? That seems like an unnecessary thing to do if she's joining only for that reason. She could just get her brother and move away or something.

As a conclusion, your writing is fine and only has small errors, but your character is very one-dimensional, which initially doesn't have to be a problem as characters will be forced to reflect on things a lot through this roleplay and they will end up changed.

This is an advanced roleplay, which means it's mostly for players with experience. There will be scenarios where you will have to get creative and create your own short stories.

Despite all that, I'm not an asshole, so I'l give you a shot and see how your character developes in the IC. If you get creative with your posts you will win my support. Accepted, welcome to the roleplay!

Thanks and sorry about the mistakes I hate typing on my phone because my thumbs are really bad at clicking the right keys and my auto correct is a pain but ill have to deal with it then xD and if you didn't realize my character has more depth and thought put into her then meets the eye

Mairynn, You see, is not solely based on her brother. She is protecting her brother from Alduin, THE ALDUIN. They cannot simply move away! I feel as if you didn't think into the details, but then again I tend to say more in my mind then what I write down xD And if you think about what you said before, (You're saying she is bubbly than you're saying she loves the smell of death?) this character is two sides. Mairynn has two personalities. when she is spending her day normally, as long is she isn't in the heat of battle, she is bubbly, happy and cheerful. However, when she is fighting or is in danger, her expression changes to a seriousness, a cold stare that can pierce flesh. and lastly thank you for letting me join! I am looking forward to writing with you

-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

I don't mean to come across to critical or picky or anything like that, but I don't think your motivation makes much sense. (to me at least) Sure, I could understand her wanting to defend her brother from the likes of Alduin and his evil brethren, but if that is the case, why abandon her brother to join the Sons? Wouldn't she be better off protecting him if they were together or something? You also say that she is protecting him from "THE ALDUIN". Makes it sound like the Black Beast is hunting your character's brother down specifically.

IDK. Maybe I'm just being an idiot and not thinking straight. But hey, the more clarification, the better! Right?

Also, I wanted to add that I like your writing in first person. When I first joined the Forums, that's how I RP'd. It's a good sight to see while a lot of the writing seen here is in 3rd person. ...maybe I'll go back to first....

 

[MehrunesDagon]

I don't mean to come across to critical or picky or anything like that, but I don't think your motivation makes much sense. (to me at least) Sure, I could understand her wanting to defend her brother from the likes of Alduin and his evil brethren, but if that is the case, why abandon her brother to join the Sons? Wouldn't she be better off protecting him if they were together or something? You also say that she is protecting him from "THE ALDUIN". Makes it sound like the Black Beast is hunting your character's brother down specifically.

IDK. Maybe I'm just being an idiot and not thinking straight. But hey, the more clarification, the better! Right?

Also, I wanted to add that I like your writing in first person. When I first joined the Forums, that's how I RP'd. It's a good sight to see while a lot of the writing seen here is in 3rd person. ...maybe I'll go back to first....

I don't think your to critical xD in fact being more critical will help me improve my writing, so I appreciate it I just like to feel cool when I point out things xD also when I said "THE ALDUIN" I was just emphasizing that he is powerful x) and maybe I'll change that to him not being in the imperial legion? maybe, yeah I got nothing xD I'll have to think this through, oh and thx for the complement on my 1st person writing


-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

 

[shadowkitty]

her eyes are actually not red, which if you look closely is an almond, but only simply looking and not paying your full attention, they give off a red aura. so yes I am lore friendly. Her armour is not named neither her sword (in the picture is not her armour, just her physical appearance) but she uses the West Ninja armour passed down in the family by her mother. Her sword is also her mother's. It's name is Evergleam. It has a 85% chance to kill your target and/or enemy in one hit.

Your sword sounds a little OP'd to be in an RP. Also, be careful not to use too many things that are from Mods in your CC. I'm referring to the West Ninja armour. You are bringing in a whole new fraction that the other players are going to have to accommodate to. If people are fine with it then it's all good, just thought I should let you know.

 

[Specter of Death]

I'd have to agree with Kitty too. I like the name and the fact that you specified what it did with the enchantment. but the enchantment itself is super OP. If it was an 85% chance, nobody else would need to help you in battle (assuming you are trained with a blade). Maybe something lower? I would say a good RP Chance cap would be about 15% for an enchantment like that. But, I am no expert.

Also, I didn't even know the armor was a Mod until Kitty pointed it out. I would make sure that it is ok with everybody else as well just in case. I'm okay with it, just as long as it is merely the armor, and it doesn't originate from another new faction or people.

 

[CapObvious]

I missed the opportunity to join the original, so I am going to jump at the chance to apply for this one. I'll see what I can come up with.

 

[Blackdoom59]

Sure thing Cap

Mehrunes, I agree with kitty and Specter you need to revise your CC on that end. First of all, the armor looks like this for those who don't know.

Now, this armor isn't really part of the lore but it's made from materials that can be found in Skyrim which means it's somewhat viable. But you have to think ahead of that, I mean the whole roleplay will start at the top of High Hrothgar, Mairynn would freeze to death before she could climb the 7000 steps in that armor.

And the sword is very OP, I uderstand it's passed down from her mother, but was her mother a goddess or something? Mehrune's Dagger is a daedric artifact and has 1% chance of killing someone instantly(through magic). Your sword cannot reach such limits, as a rule of thumb, daedric artifacts aren't usually allowed in the Roleplays.

And at the end of the day your character doesn't need the magical buff to instantly kill someone. If she's a skilled fighter she could just hit critical points of the body while fighting, no need for magic.

 

[Specter of Death]

Mehrunes, I agree with kitty and Specter you need to revise your CC on that end.

Was there a comma missing, or were you talking to me? :$ I'm confused. Also, some minor accessibility issues occured during finishing the final CCs for our duo. I'll have them up first thing tomorrow!

Sent from my GT-N8013 using Tapatalk

 

[shadowkitty]

Mehrunes, I agree with kitty and Specter you need to revise your CC on that end.

Was there a comma missing, or were you talking to me? :$ I'm confused. Also, some minor accessibility issues occured during finishing the final CCs for our duo. I'll have them up first thing tomorrow!

Sent from my GT-N8013 using Tapatalk

Doom was talking to Mehrunes.

 

[Blackdoom59]

Goddamn commas

 

[Toxius]

Hmm, what about second person? You never get anybody that writes in second person. At least from what I've seen.

Also Mehrunes re-read all of your drafts before posting for anything that doesn't make sense or check to see if there are't any big errors.

Why isn't that armour(Can it be called armour?) protecting anything vital? Do you think you want to wear something under that at least?

 

[MehrunesDagon]

Your sword sounds a little OP'd to be in an RP. Also, be careful not to use too many things that are from Mods in your CC. I'm referring to the West Ninja armour. You are bringing in a whole new fraction that the other players are going to have to accommodate to. If people are fine with it then it's all good, just thought I should let you know.

thanks I'll tone it down to a 25% critical hit.

-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

 

[MehrunesDagon]

Sure thing Cap

Mehrunes, I agree with kitty and Specter you need to revise your CC on that end. First of all, the armor looks like this for those who don't know.

Now, this armor isn't really part of the lore but it's made from materials that can be found in Skyrim which means it's somewhat viable. But you have to think ahead of that, I mean the whole roleplay will start at the top of High Hrothgar, Mairynn would freeze to death before she could climb the 7000 steps in that armor.

And the sword is very OP, I uderstand it's passed down from her mother, but was her mother a goddess or something? Mehrune's Dagger is a daedric artifact and has 1% chance of killing someone instantly(through magic). Your sword cannot reach such limits, as a rule of thumb, daedric artifacts aren't usually allowed in the Roleplays.

And at the end of the day your character doesn't need the magical buff to instantly kill someone. If she's a skilled fighter she could just hit critical points of the body while fighting, no need for magic.

ok thank you and that isn't the armor I was talking about xD when I get home from school I will screen shot it and get it here, but firstly, I'll change the enchantment to maybe 25% chance to critical hit target. sound good?


-"Silence is key, but if silence fails, use ducktape"

 

[Andre Marek]

If you'll have me, I'd love to give this a go again. I'm doing a bit of a remake of Marek to better fit the way I first imagined him, and I think you guys might like him a little more. He's not going to be quite so cynical and aloof this time around. That and I've been away from the site for a while and I'm itching to write something again.


Name: Andre Marek

Race: Nord

Class: Bounty Hunter

Gender: Male

Physical Description: Andre Marek is 6’4” tall and has a lean, muscular build, broad shoulders and a tanned complexion. He weighs in at just under 210lbs. He has dark brown hair that he keeps cut brutally short. His eyes are a pale grey. Marek sports a long scar on his left cheek, which stretches from the left corner of his mouth to just before his left ear.

Personality: Marek is often described as being stoic, rarely ever allowing others to read his emotions by hiding behind an inscrutable expression of disdain for those around him. He has little patience for anyone, even his employers. Being a bounty hunter by trade, he has no compunctions about violence although he does not always resort to it if an alternative presents itself. Years of negotiating contracts and vying for information from shady underworld associates have sharpened his tongue to the point where he can verbally parry with even the most adept. Marek is very intelligent and enjoys outsmarting his rivals as well as his quarry. There is rarely a situation which he cannot turn in his favour, or in the very least, survive. He has no racial prejudices but he harbours a deep seated hatred and distrust of magic and does not trust those who wield it.

Gear: Marek wears a lightweight set of custom made travel armor. This consists of a leather undershirt that extends to about mid thigh worn under a chainmail overshirt that reaches a few inches past that. Over this he wears a worn black leather coat, tied at the waist to prevent it getting in his way, that falls to about mid calf. On his feet he wears dark leather boots with a steel shin plate which is also painted a dark grey. His hands and forearms are covered by thick leather gloves and steel bracers the same colour as his shin guards. Over all of this he usually wears a dark pine green travel cloak to help him blend in with the wilderness and protect him from the elements. He also carries a medium sized satchel under the cloak which he keeps his few personal items in. On his left hip is a long, hand and a half sword with a wire and leather wrapped hilt; he has dubbed his sword, 'Judge'. On the opposite hip is a simple ten inch dagger. Both weapons are fastened on by a heavy leather arming belt. He also keeps a smaller knife tucked into the side of his right boot. (Think of this armor as a mix of Aragorn and Boramirs travel armors.)

Combat Preference: Andre Marek is a master of hand to hand combat and is often able to engage and defeat several opponents at once even if they happen to be armed. Often times Marek will forego his sword In favour of simple hands and feet. Although his preferred style is unarmed, he is also skilled with his long, bastard sword which he took from the corpse of an ex bounty. He prefers to wear light armor and clothing but will make use of heavier armors if the situation demands it. Marek is also very skilled at remaining undetected in the both the wilderness as well as in towns and cities.

Biography: Andre Marek was born into a Nordic family living in Cyrodiil before the Great War. During his childhood his father who was a member of the Imperial Legion, taught him how to handle a sword as well as started him hunting. He was in fact out hunting on the day that his family was killed by the elves and has since harboured a bitter resentment of the Dominion. During the war he saw firsthand the kind of destruction that magic users could unleash, having witnessed Thalmor Agents slaughter whole villages. He vowed that he would never become tainted by what he saw as unnatural and wholly evil powers.

After the fighting died down and the Empire signed the White Gold Concordat, he took to traveling between the cities of Cyrodiil and offering his services as a bounty hunter to track down and return fleeing fugitives. During this time he discovered the identities of the Thalmor who had killed his parents. After tracking the agents for several days they became aware of his presence, captured Marek and subjected him to cruel tortures both magical and otherwise. The agents decided that he knew nothing of value and left him for dead. After stumbling through the woods for a whole night barely alive he collapsed in a farmer’s field. When the farmer discovered him he offered him a place to stay and recover. When he was recovered enough to continue his job as a bounty hunter, he set out to become strong enough to one day kill the Agents responsible. Maximus abilities quickly earned him many contracts with several members of the Imperial courts. Many of the contracts were capture only, forcing Maximus to learn new ways to apprehend his quarry. After hearing of the impending war in Skyrim he decided to travel north in the hopes of making his fortune capturing fugitives and hopefully discover the whereabouts of his parents killers. After several years of searching the province he eventually discovered the whereabouts of the Thalmor agents. This time he showed no quarter. Marek killed the agents during the final hours of Skyrim’s civil war, thus ending his crusade.